Claira Mottle
Ardnard Eukaryotic Zoo is happy to inform you all that our petting zoo is now back in business. Safety measures are important, and we guarantee your children are in safe hands within the fences of our designated animals.
Here you can experience our selection of small – but very tame – woodland creatures such as the squirrel, the squirrel monkey, and the squirrel pig. We have goats, of course, bleating and suckling on rental bottles of milk, and our llamas frolic across the short grass, ready to be petted by eager hands.
Our newest addition has become one of the main attractions in the zoo! The hippotabes is a stubby little fellow, gathered from the desolate swamps outside of Ardnard. They are usually shy, but this particular one – Mr. Flabs – took a liking to a young scientist, following him and eventually integrating into the zoo. Being the most social animal, Mr. Flabs ended up in the area he loves the most – the petting zoo.
Children giggle while playing hide and seek, never tiring even though Mr. Flabs always finds them no matter where they hide. They sing songs for him and the little creature squirms in happiness, rubbing his giant nose at their knees, and chases them across the flowery grass.
“The hippotabes has learned a lot about humans. More than we ever expected,” says caretaker Jor Harn. “It keeps playing with the kids, or listening to adults chatting. It picks those things up, and processes them in its mind. Funny really.”
“What does it pick up on?”
Caretaker Harn scratches his head. It is a sunny day. He sweats.
“At first, patterns of behaviour. It tried walking on two legs like humans. It even tried petting the other animals with its stumpy legs! We all had a great jolly laugh. But then it turned strange.”
As we speak, Mr. Flabs looks at us through curious, beady eyes. It is easy to see why he got his popularity.
“It started to speak one day. Not in words or sentences, but in imitations of human language. Sounds that were gibberish, of course, but really spooked us caretakers! It progressed, but the creature seems incapable of learning proper concepts. Apart from one.
It formed a sentence one day, to the scientist it first bonded with. I was there when it happened. The hippotabes looked at him, and something changed on its face. It said a date.”
“A date?”
“Oh yes. A date in the far future. Around fifty-something years from now. We asked the scientist if he had any plans; a birthday, event, or anything else in particular, but he did not know. Apart from that, the creature is not vocal at all, just overly trusting and friendly. Everyone loves it.”
I bend over to Mr. Flabs and scratch its ears. It erupts in a few guttural, but pleasant, sounds.
Caretaker Harn laughs. “See?”
Mr. Flabs look up at me. “Boor day,” it squeaks. Its eyes are wet, but they witness of an understanding I cannot describe. “Boor day… fourteen.”
The caretaker swiftly throws a pellet of food for Mr. Flabs. I hear no more of its impressive human language.
We hope the hippotabes will continue to bring joy to the lives of Ardnardians. Come for a relaxing day in the sun, and pet our friendly little creatures that await you. Maybe you can get a date from Mr. Flabs to mark in your calendar too!