Dear readers,
Once again, it is time for the science mystery report. This time, it is all about the annual event called “the great emptying”. For all you pet holders, keep an eye out if you have a canine species, because in three days from today, as soon as the sun starts to set, it is time again. For all you uninformed readers out there, let me enlighten you, because shit is about to get serious. Every year, two weeks after the ending of cruddleberry season, a strange phenomenon takes place. All canine species known start to empty their intestines. Please forgive my language, but they shit like there is no tomorrow. Now the interesting part, the mystery, is that the emptying is synchronised by the second. Scientists are puzzled on how an event like this is possible. Since decades they have measured stuff like air pressure, temperature, radiation and juice concentration, but could not find an impacting factor. Shit has gone so far, that even a religion arose. A premise to join these religious folks is to bathe in the faeces produced on this day for good luck over the next year.
If any freelancing scientists, not yet working with the institute for empty research (IER), has some insight into this strange event, feel free to contact our office to get featured in our quartal review booklet.
Finally, there is nothing left to say, but keep your distance from canines in three days if you don’t want to get involved in something messy.
Juice up and stay smart,
Your corresponding scientific editor
Bartholomeus Hodgins